Self discovery
10th March 2022
I visited the Chapel at Cheltenham Hospital this week and saw this poem by Ruth Burgess:
The desert waits (an invitation to Lent)
The desert waits, ready for those who come,
who come obedient to the Spirit’s leading;
or who are driven, because they will not come any other way.
The desert always waits, ready to let us know who we are –
the place of self-discovery.
And whilst we fear, and rightly,
the loneliness and emptiness and harshness,
we forget the angels, whom we cannot see for our blindness,
but who come when God decides that we need their help;
when we are ready for what they can give us.
The place of self discovery, ready to let us know who we are… What was it like for Jesus to spend that time in the Judaean wilderness? It would have been a very physical experience. To imagine it, it might help if we engaged with that physicality. I was reminded recently of a way that we can stop and connect with our senses wherever we are – finding five things to see, four things we can feel, three things we can hear, two things we can smell and one thing we can taste.
What might those things be in the desert? In those wide open spaces, without the usual focus of people and places…
5 things you might see: stars… sunrise and sunset… the landscape… movement of creatures… tiny plants
4 things you might feel: the heat/the cold, the hard ground beneath your feet and your head, the movement of the air, the hunger in your stomach
3 things you might hear: the birds – from far away, the tiny sound of an insect, your own breathing
2 things you might smell: – the hot dry dust, your own body
1 things you might taste: – perhaps only your own mouth’s dryness
People who spend time along in the desert describe it as an all encompassing experience – something that changes you. You would perhaps experience some deeper connections. A connection to the planet, to creation, to this physical universe we live in. A connection to other living things. The connection to your own humanity – your body – your physicality. And through all that, a connection to the humanity you share with others at a primitive, physical level.
Maybe this was part of the reason Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert. So that the deeply spiritual side of his ministry would be grounded in this physicality – in the things he saw, and felt, and heard, and smelt and tasted, things which became part of the parables he told. And also in the physical experiences of those around him – including those who lacked one of those senses – and those who invited him to fish with them and feast with them.
When we think of going into the desert during Lent, we can think of it as a spiritual practice of self denial. But perhaps one way we could follow Jesus in this is to find our own way of connecting physically with the world around us, with other people and with our own bodies. Sometimes ‘giving things up’ or fasting is part of that – a physical way of confronting our compulsions and self soothing strategies, and what lies behind them.
But there could be other ways to do this. Going out for a walk in a different way. Doing some outside or inside physical work or exercise. Spending time simply sitting being aware of our bodies and our surroundings (maybe having a mindful bath…) Perhaps using the 54321 practice.
We are whole people, whether we like it or not. If our physicality and our spirituality get split up, it is not good news. Connecting with our bodies and the world around us is one way of connecting more deeply with God.
You might like to spend a few moments being aware of where you are now – and of how you are now. The things you can see, and hear. The things you can feel. Your own breathing.
God is closer to us than our hands and feet – as close to us as our breathing.
God is present to us in this space, in the life in those we meet, in our own bodies, in the gift of bread and wine.
God of all of us, and of us all, free us from all that disconnects us from this planet, from our own bodies, from each other. May we know with Jesus the freedom and vulnerability to live fully in the world and may we sense the life you have given us from the tips of our fingers to the soles of our feet.